Sleepless night again. This is bad. Ever since the breaking up incident happened, I seemed to have lost myself totally. Not being able to sleep, hence resulting not being able to work properly too. Everything is just screwed up now. I can't even think properly I guess. Probably I know that I can't lie to myself any longer. I'm having trouble to keep it inside of me already. N yup. To everyone's disappointment, I didn't manage to get over it. I thought I did for a short while.. But that's probably a minor distraction. When time starts to set in, she would naturally be in my mind. And yes.. Even though I have been constantly telling everyone that I'm good, it's fine. I'm ok... But in fact. No I'm not ok. I'm sorry, I lied. It's just that I don't want to be seen as a weakling or I do not wish to trouble any of my friends or let them feel sorry for me. The feelings inside me is chaotic. It's terrible at night and worse on weekends. This is just one shoutout place I can safely blast I guess.. since no one really read this anymore.. For those who know me and have read this, take it as u didn't see it. Let me continue to lie in front of u so that one day this lie will eventually become a reality. Take it as ur helping me along the way. Thanks.

I seriously think I'm into depression. Everything seems wrong. Failed relationship, job not doing well, not motivated, disillusioned, can't even take care of my own health now it seems. Damn it. The more expectations u have, the harder u fall.. How true.. This goes along with the more effort u have put in.. The more painful it will be. Arghh.

I nearly MSG her to let her know all the thoughts that are running in me.. However, I managed to stop myself from doing it. If not, it seems like I want her to take pity on me. Hai. Hence.. I end up blogging here to vent out the frustration I guess...

Loke chee Mun. Stop it. Go n sleep.