Seems like I'm gone for the longest time. Well, if this s a release corner, thn it will well be a place for me to pour out everything. No one is reading this place anymore i believe, which is a good thing too.. Every post in here seems like some sad news. Was reading the previous entry. The terrible thing that happened to my mom. Thats a nightmare. Come this year end. Things are not working in favor of me as usual. I have unlucky strikes whenever it comes to the end of the year i wonder whats wrong too.

Fast forward one year on. Recently something really big happened. I was having problems with my gf. Things were getting really shaky and im currently threading on a very fine line. She had a change of jobs, came to join me in sales but over at the housing loans side. The work stress plus other commitments seemed to force her to think it over on our relationship. Am not going to put in everything in this post as it may seem like im hanging dirty laundry in public. But one thing is for sure.

Im just gonna say my feelings now. Im lost. All that I may have planned for with her are turning into jeopardy. Will we really make it? Its even harder to accept why am I that weak. A relook back a number of years, Kat broke up with me and yes im devastated. But that was only over a year and half of relationship. Plus the fact that we were pretty young thn. Come at the age of 26, these things happen over a nearly 4 years of relationship. I cant really accept. I want to be stronger.. but i have a weak and fragile heart it seems. It seemed like I'm an overly dependant person in terms of emotional support. Is it because she is considered as my closest kin since im not really that close to my family as a result? Im not sure. I can confide everything with my gf.. She is the person who is there for me whenever i needed her. But this time round, this person is not there. Why cant I stand up on my own? I feel empty. I've lost focus. My life goals with her seems to be fading away. Can future be really this unpredictable? Man.. Im trying to see is there sunshine after this heavy rain at the moment. Am really lost but only I can lead my own way out. I cant be relying on ppl. I thank friends who gave me emotional support when i needed them. Thanks.

I need time to pull through. There is still hope but its kinda weak. Hopefully things can change for the better. A new approach to this relationship may help. And Im trying it. Pray for me.

Was listening to Show Luo's 搞笑. Ha. Match perfectly.

那一条牙膏 在对我傻笑
嘲笑我永远用不掉
想睡就睡 想闹就闹
好快乐少了人唠叨

蓝色的碗盘 多买了一套
我忘了没人陪我通宵
要多少替代的丑角 无辜的陪笑
才会让我能真的忘了你的好

我在搞笑 借着热闹 掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑 偏要说着 一个人真好
当人群散了 突然觉得我可以死掉
我受不了

还在搞笑 害怕回家 不知怎么熬
这么多年 早就喜欢 有你的撒娇
我想我能熬 但是至少要让我知道
你好不好


我们的小狗 食量变好小
眼神里常常显得无聊
他习惯睡觉的床位 少了一双脚
所以他常常看着门口睡不着

我在搞笑 借着热闹 掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑 偏要说着 一个人真好
当人群散了 突然觉得我可以死掉
我受不了

我在搞笑 却在最后 眼泪拼命掉
你的离开 失去多少 我计算不了
忙完了一天 突然觉得又何必辛劳
对谁炫耀

还在搞笑 是否拥有 麻痹的疗效
唱一夜歌 却避不开 催泪的曲调
我彻夜胡闹 希望听到有人会提到
你好不好