Another week, another Monday.. All drawing closer to the end of 2010. What an eventful year. Ha. An excellent first half of the year followed by a disasterous end year. What did I make for the resolutions for this year anyway? Think I forgot about them totally. And am I better off this year as compared to last year? Maybe, maybe not. It's scary how time flies. Still feel like am kinda a fresh grad or freshly outbid ns.. But no. Am already been working in the banking industry for the past 3 over years. And within a short period of time the age of 21 is gone and reaching 30 in the near future. What the hell. Damn fast la. Haha. Guess we have to appreciate our youth, our time, and our health as well. You are only young once? :)

hmm.. This weekend is rather packed. Friday night was spent on gathering with my sim pals followed by blading with the guys. Recorded our distance this time round.. 11+ km.. Not bad.. But not as far as compared the last time round. We went further.. But didn't record it though, heh.. Have to work on sat.. Therefore woke up early, went to work followed by going home to rest before heading out to meet mark for some drinks. Met the others for dinner at suki sushi. One conclusion. Never let Darius order. He will jolly well order too much and we will have to think where to hide the stuff so that we won't be charged for wastage. Hahah.. Went for gaming after dinner and had a shock while gaming coz in our livescore application, we saw a score that read man u 5 Blackburn 0. Woah. Man utd went crazy. Ha. We soon followed it up by heading to mr bean to complete the game. Final score 7-1. What a thrashing. Finally, Sunday was spent on soccer in the evening and dinner after that. Super random on the dinner part though. We had decided to go to either lagoon or old airport rd market. But along the way someone just said about steamboat. We end up going for steamboat instead. -.-"" and just like that, weekend is over. That's fast isn't it?

Hmm.. December is round the corner.. I feel like heading out for a holiday.. But no one is going with me.. Maybe I need to go by myself.. Backpack or something.. Go relax the mind and maybe continue the journey for searching oneself. Yep. That's for all today. Now I shall enjoy the rest of the bus journey stoning. Hahahah.

Sleepless night again. This is bad. Ever since the breaking up incident happened, I seemed to have lost myself totally. Not being able to sleep, hence resulting not being able to work properly too. Everything is just screwed up now. I can't even think properly I guess. Probably I know that I can't lie to myself any longer. I'm having trouble to keep it inside of me already. N yup. To everyone's disappointment, I didn't manage to get over it. I thought I did for a short while.. But that's probably a minor distraction. When time starts to set in, she would naturally be in my mind. And yes.. Even though I have been constantly telling everyone that I'm good, it's fine. I'm ok... But in fact. No I'm not ok. I'm sorry, I lied. It's just that I don't want to be seen as a weakling or I do not wish to trouble any of my friends or let them feel sorry for me. The feelings inside me is chaotic. It's terrible at night and worse on weekends. This is just one shoutout place I can safely blast I guess.. since no one really read this anymore.. For those who know me and have read this, take it as u didn't see it. Let me continue to lie in front of u so that one day this lie will eventually become a reality. Take it as ur helping me along the way. Thanks.

I seriously think I'm into depression. Everything seems wrong. Failed relationship, job not doing well, not motivated, disillusioned, can't even take care of my own health now it seems. Damn it. The more expectations u have, the harder u fall.. How true.. This goes along with the more effort u have put in.. The more painful it will be. Arghh.

I nearly MSG her to let her know all the thoughts that are running in me.. However, I managed to stop myself from doing it. If not, it seems like I want her to take pity on me. Hai. Hence.. I end up blogging here to vent out the frustration I guess...

Loke chee Mun. Stop it. Go n sleep.

It's another new week. Monday again. Feeling the Monday blues? You betcha. Ha. Hmm.. The weekend has passed quickly. Spending Friday night blading away tiring myself, went club hopping on Saturday and Sunday was spent on gaming and soccer. Sad to say, there is still something missing. Heh. Yeah. I think those who read will get what I meant. There are still times whereby I'll think of her. But I know I shouldn't do that at all.. But hey. 4 years. Easy to forget? Nah I don't really think so.. Of course the feeling is different from a month back. It is just.... Err.. So close yet so far kinda feeling? Nah.. I also dunno how to put it out in words. Anyway, shall not turn this into an emo entry. Hahaha..

Work is turning pretty meaningless it seems. What am I doing? What is it that I want? This is really quarter life crisis. Ha.. Oh well, probably have to wait for my degree before I can apply for jobs. At least I'm armed with a business degree is so much better than a fsv diploma. See how it goes. Searching back my goal and motivation? Yeah. Probably.

Anyway, I have a new hobby these days. (and I tell ya, it's not good) haha.. I'm into my room's tv! Addicted to shows played on funshion. Watched several movies, the entire series of lie to me and am watching white collar currently. Talk about being a couch potato eh? Haha. Am turning into one I guess. And it is not good!!!!! Haha..

Alright. Destination nearing. Time to prepare for the week. Ciaos.

Good day folks,

hmm.. Have you ever enjoyed bus journeys? Sometimes I do enjoy bus journeys in the morning.. It sets me thinking and prepare myself properly for the day. (though I must say that sometimes I have head nodding sessions in the bus instead. Ha)
Have been taking this bus journey since young. The same bus, same route, just that a shorter destination. Used to take the same bus to my primary school after I shifted house. N wala. I'm taking the same bus... 16 years on. Ha. Damn. It doesn't help but makes you feel old ya? Ha. Am typing this in the bus journey to work anyway. Ha. Talk about technology. It's scary isn't it? You r connected everywhere. Hahah..

Yesterday, Chris was telling me that he is having his quarter life crisis. Not sure where to go or rather not sure what to do. Maybe it's in banking sales ppl I guess. Once our sales is not fantastic, u tend to worry abit. Well for him, he seldom worry on such things. How things change eh? Will we still be in the banking line in the future? I wonder.

Anyway, I watched eat, pray, love online. A very good and meaningful movie. Some meaningful quotes I got there is: Ruin is a gift. We must learn to appreciate it and embrace it with an open heart and mind. To think about it, ruin is actually good in a way. Yes I feel ruined by my ex. But well, on the other hand, you will move on, grow and probably make better decisions in the future. Ruin changes a person but not necessary in a bad way. Pending on how a person approaches it, it may be a positive thing. Think of the silver lining in a cloud. There's always something bright out of it. Everyone that comes into our lives gives us lessons to learn and grow. As we take these lessons, we change, develop and think differently. Probably in a more mature sense as we factor in all these life lessons. Searching oneself is never easy. But as we move along and understand ourselves from every lesson, hey, we get to know ourselves abit better and this will lead to knowing oneself.

Sad thing though for now is that I'm not sure in relationships anymore. Maybe for now I guess. Trust is something that its hard to earn yet easy to break. Probably I believe and trusted people too easily. Not saying that she did anything bad, but its just that the faith to go the distance is gone i guess. Wendy has said that my previous relationship seems like a fairytale and it seemed good. Ha. Oh well, fairytale ain't true isn't it? Anyway, I've moved on. Probably enjoy singlehood for now I guess. What happens next, im not sure too. But one thing I do know is that I'll probably have to settle what I want to do first. This is still hanging in me for the longest time... Do I still wanna do sales? Have to sort this out. Am still doing things as per normal.. But evey once in a while. This thought will pop in. Hai. Life ain't easy eh? Ha.

Alright.. My destination is reaching.. Meaning that this post should end too. Ha. I think I might just start posting in bus journeys. Hahaha.. Till thn. Take care ppl.